...............the whole forest..

Sorry I have not written. I have tried for days now but things just seem to have gotten in the way. But I'm back now. I have experienced alot of things gettting in the way of other things lately. Not sure why either. 


I'm feeling better mentally and I know this because I am missing my rolling pin. Might seem a little wierd, but I'm serious about this. Most mornings, as I begin the transition from the peace of slumber into the sure-as-shit chaos of life, I have come to rely on a few constants. Now that I have these dread locks I have inadvertenly added another. But the four that I had before were the crowing of a rooster; the smell of cow shit and the grizzly bear masquerading as my husband snoring next to me. But, the best constant is/was that up to about a month ago, I would get up every single morning and bake something. Usually I make cookies but sometimes I would bake my morning Chocolate Chip Orange Scones. The cookie recipe is tried and tested and not going to get any better but the scones and a few other pastries are still a work in progress. Anyway about a month ago or so, I stopped thinking about cooking and baking altogether. This was the first sign that something was wrong. At first I told myself that I had just burned myself out but after a few weeks and still no interest and actually a complete loss of interest in alot of other things I decided I should talk to my doctor. I wont bore anyone with the rest of the story, but suffice to say that my hormone patch is now the size of  band-aid. Pretty soon its gonna be the size of a tire patch. Oh well, this ass that's in a constant growth spurt will be able to accomodate any size patch I'm sure. But, I'm feeling better and tonite, I read through my notes of unfinished recipes and picked two for testing tomorrow.

Since we last talked, I have purchased a new curling iron and a bunch of makeup. I went out for coffee and had a lovely lunch date with my friend Erica. Oh yeah, the pumps arrived today. Wouldn't you know it, just my luck that hubby stayed home because he's sick and because someone had to wait for the directv guy. So he recieved the box from the UPS dude. Said not a word, just left the box on the counter. The pumps are beautiful and very comfy.

The grizzly bear has assumed his natural night time pose and is in the "purring" stage of the snoring process. After a while he's gonna sound like a Honda motor from a mini bike. Soon enough he will rev it up and start to sound like a lawnmower. After that and in the final stage of the process, I swear he will sound like a souped up Chevy with tailpipes. Inevitably he will wake himself up and say 
"did I saw a few logs honey" ? to which I usually reply, "saw a few logs?..you cut down the whole fucking forest".

Goodnite.

 Update on the extensions
I'm thinking they are giving me an FF look. Not sure how I feel about that.




.

Going Nude..

I'm thinking of breaking up with my AMEX card. It calls to me like a secret lover whispering sensual irresistible words like "I can give you what you want".  I can resist his temptations most of the time, but not tonight. Normally, I prefer online shopping over physical shopping (with the exception of SurLaTable and Williams and Sonoma) but I have never bought a pair of shoes online. That's like one of those things you always want to try on right? But...innocently I googled Nude Pumps and suddenly, OMG! there they were. A beautiful pair of Marc Jacob pumps in nude, a four inch stiletto heel and.... bonus...platforms.  YES!

Yeah I know, I had you at nude and lost you at heel but come back, the best part is that they are patent leather, and like any Mexican worth their salt, I love patent leather. I have looked for nude shoes everywhere and have failed miserably, but tonight, the stars were in perfect alignment, the harvest moon shone down on me from above; and with the old man fast asleep on the sofa and never the wiser, I could not resist and I ordered them. Now I just have to slip the kid five bucks to watch for the UPS guy and stash the goods. Mike says I cannot possibly need another pair of pumps, but what does he know anyway. At least they're not another pair of black pumps.

I guess now is as good a time as any to confess that I found the Red Hot Chili Pepper Cowboy Boots I have been wanting.  Overstock.com is an awesome place. I did not buy them yet, not sure I'm gonna, but they sure are cute.

Update on the hair extensions:

Underestimated the work involved, so now I gotta spend more time on my hair. You may not know this about me, but the less time I am in front of a mirror, the happier I am.  Pre-extensions, I could be showered, dressed and have the war-paint on in less than 30 minutes. Yeah I know, this explains alot about my appearance.   I will keep you posted on the hair extensions. They may be gone sooner than later.

Goodnight. Thanks for reading. 

So it Begins..

Today marks the official day of the countdown. 50 in 50. The day began fairly uneventful. You know, that comatose state we are all in before that first cup of coffee goes down. And is it me, or are these coffee makers brewing at a glacier pace?   I was going to take the day off because I thought I had a more pressing issue away from OLC, but turned out I did not, so to work I went. I was excited because the day I had been waiting for had arrived, and more importantly, I knew that the appointment to get my hair extensions was only hours away. I sat in that chair for four hours. Might seem like a long time, but the salon was closed to everyone else, so Dora and I talked non stop about life and love and days gone by. I told her about a guy I knew in high school and my current effort to find him (John) in all these websites were no one is safe anymore. I was never his girlfriend, but we were friends with benefits. Of course we were, I had a job, a car, the janitor's keys, and always scored really good dope. A friend with weed is a friend indeed remember. Gradually the extensions went in after wincing in pain for hours and silently thinking, what the f*** possessed me to sign up for this.
I really underestimated the work and cost involved in this endeavor. I should have negotiated the price beforehand but I did not. For a few seconds it felt like a shakedown, but its my own fault and since I have vowed to live regret-free, I forgot about it the second I tore the check off. She did an awesome job and I left there thinking I'm in the wrong line of work. So how do they look you wonder? Well, I think they look good; and if I was thinking of dressing up like one of those Oktoberfest girls that parade around in that dress with their boobs hanging out for Halloween, I'm set.
The few people who have seen me have used words like wow, oh yes, awesome, hmmmm(?) and nice, to describe my not so subtle extensions. My uncle did ask me if had main-lined Rogaine to which I said, of course. My sister said I looked beautiful, but she also asked me if I had seen her glasses. 
My mom really likes my new hair and said I looked 10 years younger. But with her, everyone looks 10 years younger or older and everything is only 20 minutes away.  And speaking of my mom, I told her yesterday that today would be super hot in Fillmore as it has been for a few days now, but she refused to go to my aunts house in Oxnard and said she was staying here. Well, I completely forgot that I negotiated a deal with SCE to turn off my AC Unit when the demand is high, so around 3:00 pm, they turned off the unit and Mom and my babydog Timmy both had their tongues hanging out when I got home at 5:00 oclock. They were both red in the face and the house was 80 degrees inside and 107 degrees outside. My poor mama. I made it up to her by taking her to Oxnard tonite to see the family. She goes home tomorrow $700.00 richer. She went to the Chumash for the weekend.

My yummy drink (Cosmopolitan) is gone and I'm done for the day. I craved Champagne tonite, but I had none.I  think I'll get a pedicure tomorrow since I had my hair done today and a manicure before that.

Goodnite. Thanks for reading.

(If you are reading this, of all the things I want to give you, a kidney was never on the list).

The 51st Day

Its the 51st day. Officially tomorrow is the day I begin my countdown. I spent the day at home and indoors, given the heat that has descended upon us, not a wonder.  I got to wondering if Blogs are narcissistic? I suppose they are to some degree. I want to think that maybe someone will read what you have to say, but the reality is that I could very well just be talking to myself.  I am having the usual doubts about my countdown. Is it stupid? Do I care?  And the truth is, for some reason, this birthday and I will go out on a limb and call it a milestone; is important to me. Very important.  It is just a small part of all that has happened to me within the past year. All of that I will get in to later.

The reality of my age came to me one morning as I was driving to work. And maybe its because I have reached a point where I just dread driving, so I play my music and sing.  I love being driven. Everyone who knows me, especially my beautiful and willing to drive me everywhere friend Carajane. But that morning I was listening to a song by Bob Seger and when he asked where 20 years have gone, it hit me. Not only twenty have suddenly disappeared, but fifty.  OMG!

I have thought alot about this blog and I have decided that the only way to do it justice is to tell the truth 100% of the time. But lets talk about the truth. One truth about truth, is that it can make us very uncomfortable. So as I share my story and what 50 years has been like for me, if I offend anyone or make anyone uncomfortable, forgive me. Its only my version and how I saw it. But, in truth; everyone in my life who is still in my life today has been good to me. It has been me that has failed at one point or another in being a good mom, wife, daugther, sister and friend.  So to all of you reading this, for everything I was or was not, my sincerest apologies. 


nl

My Blog Spot

I am looking for some feedback on the layout of my page. All comments welcome. Feel free to be honest. You won't hurt my feelings.