The 51st Day

Its the 51st day. Officially tomorrow is the day I begin my countdown. I spent the day at home and indoors, given the heat that has descended upon us, not a wonder.  I got to wondering if Blogs are narcissistic? I suppose they are to some degree. I want to think that maybe someone will read what you have to say, but the reality is that I could very well just be talking to myself.  I am having the usual doubts about my countdown. Is it stupid? Do I care?  And the truth is, for some reason, this birthday and I will go out on a limb and call it a milestone; is important to me. Very important.  It is just a small part of all that has happened to me within the past year. All of that I will get in to later.

The reality of my age came to me one morning as I was driving to work. And maybe its because I have reached a point where I just dread driving, so I play my music and sing.  I love being driven. Everyone who knows me, especially my beautiful and willing to drive me everywhere friend Carajane. But that morning I was listening to a song by Bob Seger and when he asked where 20 years have gone, it hit me. Not only twenty have suddenly disappeared, but fifty.  OMG!

I have thought alot about this blog and I have decided that the only way to do it justice is to tell the truth 100% of the time. But lets talk about the truth. One truth about truth, is that it can make us very uncomfortable. So as I share my story and what 50 years has been like for me, if I offend anyone or make anyone uncomfortable, forgive me. Its only my version and how I saw it. But, in truth; everyone in my life who is still in my life today has been good to me. It has been me that has failed at one point or another in being a good mom, wife, daugther, sister and friend.  So to all of you reading this, for everything I was or was not, my sincerest apologies. 


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